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My first Emmy experience in 5 years.
I have no interest In any award show. 99% of the
time. I have no interest in celebrities but my roommate is in the gender
of the female. So I must watch.
Ever step on an electronic scale to quickly and you
register an “ERR” error? on the digital scale of comedy that’s what the
saturday night live did co-hosting.
Jerry Ryans nipples are out of control.
Guest actress in a comedy series: Farah Fawcett was a
nominee. Am I the only person that thinks there’s something wrong with
that? Shouldn’t everything she do be considered comedy.
Larry David-I’m so curbing it. I still don’t
understand the greatness of TV.
Why it Prime time Glick still on? And why was he
nominated for an Emmy? It’s still Martin Short and Unfunny mode. It’s
just in a fat suit. Just like Will Farrell (mugatu) says about Zoolander
“It’s the same look! Doesn’t anyone else notice? I feel like I’m taking
crazy pills here”
Simon Crowell, Randy Jackson, Paula Abdul. I’m ready
for a judging joke, .and I’m ready for some time of spoof for the 40th
time…and as I finish this sentence…they already started it.
Joe Pantiliano: Loved him in Momento, love him in the
sopranos. Hate him in that stupid hat he’s always wearing.
Everyone forgot about Ned and Stacey? I’m going to be
the single solitary hand.
My Roommate then starts chiming in ever 45 seconds
and I decide that it’s much more interesting to write down what she says
over anything I can come up with.
“I like him”
“she sucks”
“I haven’t even seen Jennifer Aniston’s yet so I can
pick apart her outfit”
“...nomination for mini-series “live from Bagdad”
Robert Weiner.
Tee hee. (that was me)
“I’m glad for William H. Macy, to bad he’s got an
ugly ass wife.”
(voice over) ”and from sex in the city. Sarah Jessica
Parker.”
“I don’t why everyone likes her so much, I mean, she
seems like a sweet person but there’s something that I want to dislike
about her so I’ve might...(she enters) and yeah for your top on your dress
is way big”
“I hate Jennifer garner! I hate her I hate her I hate
her”
I don’t know half the time if she’s talking to me or
just making comments. Women need other women when they watch this. This
is their Superbowl. It’s been decided that I’m a terrible Emmy watcher,
because I’m not interested, don’t chime in, and I’m on the computer typing
these words. So she picks up the phone and critiques with friend in
Omaha.
(on the phone)
“…and what do you think about Sarah Jessica parker?
Where are her boobs at? Her milk boobs? She just had a baby, where are
her boobs?”
“Let’s talk Paula Abdul now…What’s THAT about.”
“….there’s Jennifer! Finally. And she of course is
wearing a boob dress, and she has no boobs”
“24 would be such a terrible show to work for, it
wouldn’t be any fun, cause you don’t get to wear different clothes”
“Cosby, I used to love him, he’s such a bitter old
man now, why? He’s got a lifetime supply of Jello. Get over it, but how
good were pudding pops though?”
About halfway through, I have the need to go take a
shower, in between the rinsing of the shampoo and the application of the
conditioner the door opens…
“…Debra Messing won!! Debra Messing won!”
“um..yeah?”
“I’m so happy for her. Yay!”
“um great”
“she beat Jennifer Aniston!”
“ok”
“even with her big nose”
“good for her”
“aren’t you happy?”
“hell yea?!?” sarcastic font on
“ugh, that’s why guys shouldn’t watch, this is my
football. This is my football”
-And she goes back watching TV
When Cosby gets up for his award…”oh. Now your nice
now”
I made the mistake of telling my roommate to get off
the phone for the John Ritter montage (she was in another room) and it was
bob hope thing. Then she blurted,”…that’s’ why guys shouldn’t watch the
Emmy’s.”
Exactly.
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