Thoughts

March 18th.

OK. Basketball talk until the asterisk, feel free to skip if you have a life.

Here are some quick things.

I’m sad today. Not because I’m slowly going broke. That I have no home or because my playstation 2 is broken. No.

I’m sad today. Not because NYC has only had 3 days of sunshine in the last 45 days since I’ve moved here. No.

I’m sad today not because I’m homesick for Kansas and I’m going to miss my sisters first high school soccer game next week, which includes 7 starting freshman girls that I’ve coached since they were 10, and watched some play since they were 6.

My sadness goes much deeper than all that. I’m sad because I’m alone. Alone in a world of March madness.

I’m by myself, I’m not in school, and I’m unemployed. This all means one thing. No Pool. This is ending my current streak of 13 years of losing at least 5 dollars back in 8th grade in 1991, to ($50) my junior year in college when I was a part of 5 pools.

So I analyze, I compare, I contrast. I make up 5 different charts. Three always with Stanford, Duke, and Kansas winning the title at least once, even though one year in high school, I believe my sophomore year when they (Stanford) weren’t even in the tournament I still had them in the finals. Instead I will just plop down, eating cheesecake, wish I had a job for the sole purpose of the office pool, and swim in the...oh wait, I can’t swim, I’m not in a pool. Screw me.

Here’s my prediction, of course it will be wrong.

If in fact Wayne simian gives me my b-day present and miraculously becomes 100% I have Kansas winning it all over Oklahoma .

I’m rooting for an All Big twelve final four, and I honestly believe its possibility, Mizzou, KU, Texas , and OK.

OK, I’m always accused of being in the bandwagon in the NCAA. I was born in NC, less than an hour away from tobacco row, with NC-state, Duke, Wake Forest and NC all together. I fastened on to duke and NC at an early age.

I moved to Monterey , Ca, when I was 5 and always saw Stanford and Cal games, even though they sucked, I became a Stanford fan and this was before pre-Brevin Knight. Off to Hawaii . Still a Stanford fan.

Then to Kansas , where it become law, that you become a jayhawk fan. This was before K-state became a football power, so it was a MUST to root for the jayhawks.

Then off to Kentucky , same rule applies for basketball there as it does in Kansas . Even though I was there during the Travis ford, mashburn, Shepard era of basketball I was still a Duke/Stanford fan. I had to contain my excitement when latniear(sp) hit “the shot”. My baseball coach was so depressed we didn’t have practice for two days.

I then had to go back to Kansas my senior year in high school. Where I got the opportunity to watch Mr. Simean play in 7th grade. All I can say then was “Wow”

So because I was around all this basketball tradition during an impressionable age I was labeled as a bandwagon hitchhiker. So here for my final say.

Stanford
Duke/KU it switches back and forth
4. Kentucky

5. North Carolina

6. Austin Peay

My underdog of the Year, UNC-Ashville. Have to love the losing record. They have no chance in hell, but still.

Realistic surprise: Mizzou, always underachieving till the end. Remember last year? Weber state would be my Cinderella team if they weren’t set to see Kentucky in sweet 16, if they were in the south or east maybe. You have to root for the paradox of Manhattan . They’re the jaspers, it’s an 8 on funny mascot names, incomparable to the Fighting Banana Slugs of UC-SB, Campbell Camels(nc) or my favorite The Fighting Christians of Elon University, but none are in the tournament, so I have to pick them solely on that. But the jaspers aren’t even in Manhattan , they’re in the Bronx …like jenny.

On another note, I swear I’m not making this up, but when I was on a plane in LA, there was, on the same flight, two college aged kids, both with college sweatshirts. One of the mascots was the Minstrels and the other was the Unichs. Research these and laugh later.

And so ends this basketball rant for now, I now have to make my “Let’s Go Peay” sign, for myself.

*I’m adding this to the most strenuous jobs in the world:

-Micheal Jackson, make up artist.

-Seeing eye dog in Manhattan .

So I’m flipping through channels, and I see Macguyver…but this is no ordinary Mac. No. He has a Goatee. This has me riveted for a good 10-15 seconds. But it’s better yet. He’s pissed. Mac never gets pissed. I am kicking myself for not ever recollecting this episode. For I had seen every episode of Macguyver. Except the dismal “Cowboy season” which I refuse to acknowledge his existence (if you don’t know, For almost an entire season, The show would start off as Mac would be sleeping, and the entire episode would basically be a dream sequence of Mac doing Mac stuff in the past, mostly as a cowboy in the 1800’s)

Quick dork check. You know how some guys will rant off a quote, and it’s up to they’re buddy to finish it? Usually done with Swingers, Goodfellas, Goonies, Caddyshack, Fletch, and sometimes Seinfeld. Well in high school. My buddy sparky and I would give each other Macguyver quizzes. We’d give a scenario, and based on our knowledge of past episodes, we’d have to figure out what Macguyver did to get out. Hell yeah I was cool.

Any way back to the episode. So this Goatee-laden Macguvyer. He befuddled me. I couldn’t figure it out. He was yelling, he was screaming, all with trademark Mullet. I couldn’t figure out what season it was. It had to be season 1-4 or 7. Season 5 and 6 he had it short only to return to his mullet-like ways at the season’s end. I can’t believe I missed this episode though. This couldn’t have been hypnotized macguvyer(season 3 and 6) my only conclusion was, “Evil Twin”.

Borrowing the idea from knight rider, all Michael knight had to do to transform himself to his evil twin was to put on a mustache. The formula below will help explain.

Good person + mustache = evil twin

So this must mean

Super good guy + Goatee = Super evil twin

As this was all making since to me, I finally scanned the rest of the TV screen, and to the lower right of it, I didn’t see the familiar TV land logo, but “WE”. It was a stupid women’s’ network TV movie. Damn them.

Quick note: So I tried contacting the Daily show, the chapelle show and Conan O’Brien to try to write for them. They would not take my samples. Only if I had an agent or if one of the writer’s directly requested them from me. If anyone knows anyone who knows anyone, please send them my way.

Eating cheesecake for lunch is not healthy. Therefore I am not healthy.

Ok, There’s a terrible show on called “all-American girl” in which they’ve scanned the entire country looking for a female who is the embodiment of what it means to be an all American girl. Geri Halliwell of the spice girls is one of the judges, anyone else feel there’s something wrong with a girl from Great Britain doing the judging for this?

American gladiators is now

Living with a female roommate in her early twenties and access to basically one TV means.

You will have to watch the challenge over RAW. This kills me. Cause I honestly don’t’ watch RR and RW or the challenges.

You must stop all that you are doing and watch trading spaces. And make comments like “cool” or “I like that” every 5 seconds, while listening to comments like “I love stripes” “I would want Vern to do my room” “ty is sooo hot” every 4 seconds. And be prepared to here the disappointment whenever they’re an episode that Ty isn’t the carpenter and Amy is.

A highlight. The Venus is better than any other razor created for man. Even the senor and the Mach 3. they should make the Venus black and call it “Bad Ass Mach 8” and men from all over would use it.

The Mother of all bombs: We act like it’s new. Sparky used to detonate those all the time in gym class during freshman PE.