March 24th
Tonight I found myself watching trading spaces… by
myself. With no female presence. Please someone cast the first stone.
This goes out to Will Weaver, and Joel Brown
(former teammates and current coaches) and all the baseball players at
Fort
Campbell
High School
in
Kentucky
, who all have at least one parent unable to attend the games but
supporting a bigger cause in the
Middle East .
It’s become more and more increasingly difficult to
breathe. My Nasal cavities are running a muck. How the hell do you
spell that?
It was the Oscars last night. I was fighting for
remote time between me and the roommate with March madness. I lost. No
interest except for various shots of Salma Hayek and the yearly death
montage. I missed the first 10 seconds of it. But I caught the rest of
it. I’m damn near infuriated that I didn’t see Mr. Rogers once. Not
once!! He had a more productive career than virtually 90% of all of
them! He was so important so instrumental.
“He didn’t mold any of the careers for the
celebrities”
“And molding the youth of the nation to become
better people doesn’t count?” I retort. And yes I was really upset by
this. I have to give it to Horatio Sands, who I assume asked whole
heartedly to do one of the best closing segments on Saturday night live
ever with a tribute to Mr. Rogers, and another round of applause to Mr.
Jimmy Kimmel who also did a slightly subtle tribute to the man by
putting up his jacket and grabbing a cardigan in his opening sequence.
That’s such a letter.
Still no job.
Playstation2 is still broken.
There’s a mini-bubble in NYC here apparently. About
10-13 strong. Thought the bubble only existed in LA. How does this
happen?
So I spent 80% of my time on the computer on Craig
list, monster, hot jobs, and steveisunemployed.com. And continuously
refresh them every 6 hours with my fingers crossed hoping for an opening
that would utilize my skills as a play station and trivial pursuit
player but alas. No luck. But I did find something close…Foot model.
Yes I applied to be a foot model. Not for some fetish or anything, but
for an athletic shoe company. Here’s a quick pic.
Oops wrong picture. But
this is actually my toe from an unfortunate soccer incident.that
occurred back in 1998. Either I wore my shoes to tight or I get stepped
on. But over the course of a few month, my toenail slowly started to
die. This was taken in April of 1999. The nail started dying in nov of
98. By April the entire nail fell off except for the front portion. I
was in dire pain for a good three weeks. I couldn’t wear shoes (it
would snag on the socks) and for three weeks I walked around basically
barefoot. By June the entire thing fell off and by November of 1999 my
feet were beautiful again.
that’s better now huh? Damn sexy peds baby. But it turns out they
wanted Caucasian men. Of which according to my Michael Jackson like
metamorphosis, I’ll fully be complete by 32. But I’m not white enough.
But I get a call about 30 minutes later.
“Eh”
“Steve Minky?”
“yeah”
“Your Asian right”
“well yeah”
(I was thrown off a little by this question so
quickly, usually it’s the 3rd or 4th one,
completely threw off my timing.)
Anyway, she found out by my pictures that I’m
Asian; pictures tend to give that away. And she asked if I acted.
“I’m acting like I didn’t here that”
So now, I’m apparently going to audition for a role
in a film. Go me. To be soon released next year in 5 independent
theatres.
-Pet peeve number one:
New York
people don’t like Mexican food, and don’t know what good Mexican is.
I looked up Mexican restaurants in Westchester co. Roughly 1.5 people
live here. Zero places. Yes Zero, not counting taco bell.
America
’s funniest home videos’ is the most universal form of humor ever
created. You don’t need to know a certain language to know that these
general things will be regarded as hilarious in any culture.
- getting hit in the crotch
- Old people falling down while dancing at
weddings
- Children falling asleep while eating.
- Fat guy breaking swimming pool(baby or above
ground)
- Fat guy jumping on diving board, and the few
exhilarating moments before it, because you know it’s going to happen.
And you still watch. Completely captivated.
My mother and I used to laugh hysterically; it can
bring peace to the world. I still haven’t seen the uncensored version.
That’s on my Christmas list. A healthy
Wayne
simian is on my bday list still.
This brings me to my dream video series. A best of
America
’s Funniest Home videos, narrated by the Lovely Daisy Fuentes. Mr.
Sagat and the other two guys can sit out on it.
But just like the sweet pickles bus. A man with
multiple felony counts and dressed in an oversized alligator outfit will
drop off one video a week. Someone please listen.
The countdown for Ashton Kuchters career will
detonate in t minus 18 months. 9…8…7...6.
