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Throughout history Human society had
a silent, understood, code of conduct that has coerced us to push our
limitations, physically and mentally in the name of survival. Whenever
there is the desire or even need of survival whether it be continuing on
in the playoffs or just actually surviving the elements itself,
competition always arises.
Rivalries have been the bloodline of
evolutions, competition and survival. From Man vs. Nature, Man vs. Beast,
Man vs. Itself, Man vs. Beast II on Fox. From the very pecking order of
life, rivalries have become a daily dosage of instinct that occurs at
every second, every breath, and every moment of time. It will be a
continuous entity so long as time will exist.
Competition has spurned a culture and
even eras of violence, fear, and paranoia. Life changing events that not
only affected people and the environment for that time, but could run from
decades to even centuries at a time. The ideology of competitive nature
has made up much of the worlds history, from triumphant to tragic. Mass
worlds have collided in terms of every regard possible. From religion and
the crusades, to idealistic political philosophies
of the US and USSR. We have always
felt the thumb of rivalry pushing us down or flicking us, trying to shoot
us forward.
Even lesser degrees of rivalries can
be observed at every possible moment.
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Two high school girls seeking the
same desired attention from a cute boy in their chemistry class.
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Two ants fighting over the same
piece of beetle leg.
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Kobeyashi and a Black bear in a hot
dog eating contest.
Rivalries, have spurned stories, from
the present day to legend. Things that have been passed on for hundreds
of years and those that will continue to be passed on. If there was no
competitive balance in our system would we really still be interested in
“David and goliath” or produce terrible movies about Troy?
Clichés, ranging from the basic, “the
early bird gets the worm.” to the intolerance of submission, “Give me
liberty or give me death.”
The history channel, has bestowed
upon us with prime time respectability, the need to know that past, to
visually and mentally digest it, to internalize it, devise a way about how
it may, or may not. pertain to oneself and then, at one precise moment,
that we may avoid the cliché of learning the past to help us decide our
future...
As Vh1 biggest music rivalries has
told us, time and time again. That we watch a bunch of crap, and that
rivalries are still alive and well.
Allied vs. Axis.
Ali vs. Frazier
Biggie vs. Tupac
Godzilla vs. Mothman
These are just a couple of the most
famous rivalries that come to mind. But there is one that has been
building momentum for the last 8 years pushing its maximum capacity and
verging on an explosive instant that will affect and seriously impact us
all and maybe even our children’s children.
May I introduce to you to quite
possibly be the biggest rivalry to never be talked about? Maybe it’s the
fear that it can get to emotional, to draining. Maybe the reasoning it’s
never been talked about is the global instability that it can cause to not
only the civility of the world, but the economy as well. The dollar, the
Euro, Crude democracy itself could somehow be affected by this. Maybe
that's why it’s not talked about. Implications are too great. The
outcome, to real. But it’s something, which I feel is my duty to talk
about.
The New Mickey
Mouse Club vs. Kids Incorporated.
VS
.
For years and years the Mickey Mouse
Club has been the litmus test for all pop-culture It’s the pop-culture
of higher education. The Harvard of Present day pop-dum. It’s where every
stage mom has taken their psychotic idealisms to unparalleled degrees to
get their children on that show. Like the Chargers-Falcons Vick/Tomlinson
trade, it’s still considered in it’s infants stage and may take a few more
years to properly define it’s outcome.
Kids Incorporated, which ironically
had a character named Mickey, was a place to have a shake, learn about
life, all in one lip *synced 30 minutes. Mickey Mouse. The same.
Kids Inc. is tired of the respect
that it hasn’t been receiving while the MMC has become the apex for state
moms everywhere.
The Match ups
 Britany
Spears Vs. The Black Eyed Peas' Fergie:
Although one might say that this is a
pretty easy decision, I’d like you to think about it a little bit more.
 Fergie:
Fergie is the Terrell Owens of the Black Eyed Peas. Immediate Impact.
Bringing the band from a Hip-pop respectability to commercial smash
success. Already a respected band with a nice fusion of, “poppy enough
for mainstream status but still inventive enough to keep a brand of
decorum”. Fergie was a nice compliment for the BEP in the terms that they
now, like Terrell Owens, adds a bit of flash and bootie shaking and of
course, brings them to another level of play . If not for Fergie, we
would have never seen them make an appearance on the TV show, Las Vegas,
single-handedly keeping the world from turmoil.
I remember having an extreme crush
on her when the show was on network Saturday mornings. I had a huge crush
on her based on the fact that she was the only one near my age, and the
fact that we shared the same birthday. I somehow became a member of the
fan club and got a little bio and had some information on each. I was 7
and it really didn’t take much to make me feel connected with a person.
Steve Perry was my favorite singer growing up for no reason other than the
fact that we both shared the same name.
 One
of the great things about Fergie is that she actually climbed the pop
ladder. She started off with Kids inc., moved on to
Wild Orchid, of which I can’t
name a single song they sang, but went to they’re website for it’s Maxim
like pictorials. Wild Orchid then went on to host the kids’ version of
Say What Karaoke on the family channel. They had to have been the
inspiration for the wardrobe of the Plastics in Mean Girls. After a few
years doing this, she needed something more. So she ditched Wild Orchid
and the name Stacy, borrowed Drea de’ Mateos' makeup, earrings and
product and out popped Fergie.
When you think about it. That’s
tough this day and age to go from obscure, to less obscure, to smash
success. Like a minor leaguer making his way up to the show. She’s now
in the show, top billing on the Marquee. Very impressive especially at a
pop-ancient the age of nearly 30.
The Britney argument however, is
fairly simple. She has the Solo career, the money and a brilliant husband
who rivals Einstein and Darwin, but does she have the longevity? For
every Janet Jackson solo pop success, there’s also the graveyard 20 other
pop princess. Can she still keep strong in the next 5 years?
The knock on Fergie is her age, being
6 years older than Brittney will she have the power to stay on top for at
least another album or two? I think the Peas were smart bringing her in.
They know how to market themselves and produce pretty slick addictive
music that we all can Jam to when watching an NBA or ipod commercial for
the 900th time. Also Fergie, say she lasts another album or two, maybe
three. Can she still be able to dress in those outfits than can best be
described as “man drool”? She’ll be pushing mid-thirties by then, I'm
sure she'll still be amazingly smoking but can she pull off the Hip looks
still? It’s going to be a tossup. She could still pull it off, or
look like a mom trying to dress like her teen sophomore daughter.
Brittney for now.
Christina Aguilara vs. Martika
Christina still has the amazing voice
and is trying to. “Come on baby”, Matt’s biggest guilty pleasure, is still
a great cheesy pop song. I stole the cd from my sister. She’ll still be
around for a while, like her herpes.
Come on, it was a joke .
Martika. had one real hit song with
toy soldier, and one semi-hit song with Martika’s Kitchen. Ok she didn’t
have the voice, nor the type of staying power that Christina does. But
she does have a song that was a title of a movie, and also ballsy enough
to change her name to simply “Martika” when she was on a Kids Saturday
morning show. And the fact that she had a Hasselhoffian-like
following in Europe adds more to the argument.
Christina still... ahem, Pulls it
out.
Jennifer Love Hewitt vs.
Felicity
Both of these people have had eerily
familiar careers. Starting off on kids TV shows. Both have been in hit
music videos. J-love w/ Enrique Iglesias during his mole era, Hero,
and Felicity in Always by Bon Jovi.
Both got that terrible virus that
inflicts 80% of female college freshman around the country that causes
them to cut their hair to “mother of 4 kids” status. Although
Jennifer never cut to exasperatingly short levels. I just couldn't
think of another argument.
Both had they’re own shows on Fox.
Both were canceled. Both have been the object of affection of ugly dorky
guys in family movies.
Honey I blew up the kids,
and that movie where
J-love locks Jennifer Tilly and the dorky guys parents in a basement for a
weekend or so. I just looked it up. House Arrest.
Both were thought to be the next “It”
stars only to be leapfrogged in the process by Mandy Moore, Kate Hudson
and Julia Stiles.
And no, I don’t know Felicity’s real
name.
On Felicity’s side. She had the
original Pink Power Ranger on her show. Jennifer Love has no such Zorde
to counter that.
Loves positive: She’ll still do the
occasional FHM-Stuff-Maxim men's magazine pictorial. And has a couple
things to keep her still in the spotlight.
Hewitt tames Felicity’s Hair.
By the way. As much as you can hate
Enrique. You really can’t fault the guy, when making decisions about
casting for his videos. He took Tom Petty’s idea of getting respectable
actors and actresses in his videos, and just went with hot chicks. How
many discussions have guys had with conversations like, Salma or J-Lo?
Sarah Michelle or Jennifer Love? Shannon Elizabeth or Tara Reid? He
actually gets to make these come true. He can actually think to himself,
“I think I’m going to make out Leeann Tweeden next week for my video” and
it actually happens.
Wild Orchid vs. Mickey Mouse
Club group (Party)
 This
is a no brainer. During the seasons of MMC they took a McDonalds like
approach, in manufacturing a
group of people together and making them a band. They had a token black
guy, token Asian girl, red headed white guy who had a “Malibu’s most
wanted” inspired vernacular, another white guy, and a white girl. They
called themselves Party. They had a huge rotation on the Disney channel
during the early 90’s, which explains why 99% have never heard of them.
In case you needed to know, they’re songs are available on Napster.
Wild Orchid has had a couple people
come and go, but with the original core being Kids Inc people. I have no
idea if they had any rotation on the fox family channel thus why 99% of
people never heard of them.
Based on the fact that I don’t know
any of they’re names or their songs. I will go on a pure male
chauvinistic hotness.
Wild Orchid.
Mario Lopez vs. Justin
Timberlake:
Now many of you might just laugh at
this. And just choose Justin by Nsync and Justified alone but...
If you were a female and needed a
dance partner for a ball room competition and your partner hurt his ankle
and the competition was held at the Max. Would you pick Justin or Mario?
Yes I know it was Mario who hurt himself and that Lisa had to dance with
screech but I couldn’t think up any other scenario.
If your a female, wouldn’t love to
have a guy with enough confidence to go out in public. With…
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A mullet?
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A perm?
-
A wrestling singlet substituting
for a tank top paired with khaki pants?
He’s the only guy still in the public
eye that comes close to the Immortal trifecta of Todd Christianson during
American gladiators with the perm, mullet, porn stache combo.
And if you were on a beach boardwalk
and your wallet or purse was stolen. Would you rather your Bike Patrol
Officer be Mario or a guy for nsync. to chase him down on an Trek?
Ali Landry is a lot higher on my list
than Cameron Diaz.
When you factor all these in the
decision it’s not so easy huh?
Justin still wins on the fact that I
was just trying to be the devil’s advocate and feel pathetic that I know
this much about Mario Lopez.
The kid from monster squad. Vs.
JC Chasez
I know nothing about the kid from
monster squad except the fact that he was the cool kid on monster squad.
JC has the desperate housewife girl, Eva Longoria.
JC in a landslide.
Other Notables:
Shanice: She was on Kids Inc.
“sitting in my class just drifting away...". Rock on Shanice rock on.
I loved your smile as well.
Undressed: I wrote the word Undressed
about 3 days ago when I was typing notes for this section. Apparently one
of the member of MMC or Kids Inc. was on this show but I forgot now.
Mickey vs. Mickey
The mouse whose name is in the MMC.
Kids Inc. had a character named Mickey in the first season. He left in
the first season I think. He had no staying power. While the mouse has
been going strong for decades.
Winner. The Mouse....for now.
In total, at this in Point in time
the Mickey Mouse Club has the advantage over the Kids Incorporated. But
like the Moors and Spain, were advisories for hundreds of years. We might
really know the battle for years, maybe even a decade, to officially
determine a winner. With a possible two more albums that BEP has and a
possible comeback from Hewitt (she’s still young in the acting world) they
could be a possible threat to Mr. Timberlake and Ms. Aguilera down the
road. Who knows, Shanice and Martika could be making a Drew Brees type
revival soon as well…
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