I’m writing this in the thoughts section.  I should write it in the football section shouldn’t I? 

Ok, it’s been two days since the superbowl.  I was wrong.  I thought Gannon would have it in him and the fact that Pittman is the worst athletically gifted running back ever.  I was wrong.  I love the bucs I really do.  I’m a Raider Hater, I really am, but I couldn’t hate them this year.  I just couldn’t.  I’m a chiefs and 49’ner fan.  There were too many greats in there to many memories.  Tim Brown how he always tore my a new one in Techno Bowl, couple that with the running back tandem of Bo and Marcus and with the unfathomably amazing arm of QB Jay Shroeder, couple that with the fan favorite Rich Gannon who left while we kept good old Elvis. Although I did think Elvis was great his last season, kc fans can shoot me now.  We wished Gannon farewell.  Some KC fans tried to hate him for going to the Raiders.  But it wasn’t heartfelt.  We all really liked him inside. He was your girlfriend that broke up with you and 3 years later started dating one of your old best friends that you lost in touch with 6 years ago.  You want to get mad, but you can’t.  You knew it was for the best.  That was with me and Gannon.  And plus the fact that before every home game he would come to the restaurant I worked at. He’s a nice guy, nice kids and good tipper, same with Reggie Tongue; he went to then division rival Seattle.  I always served him.  He was an army brat too.  He also left.  Couldn’t hate him.  It’s tough to hate nice people.  I also was a huge Marques Tsuiasopopo(back up QB) fan in Washington, makes it even harder.

As did Jerry Rice.  Many memories of him, too many.  Same with Garner, and Woodson.  Consummate professionals.  Many joys of them in the red and Gold of the niners.  I tried to hate.  Oh so I try to hate, but I couldn’t.  Too many good guys. Romo and Kennedy, were the only ones I could find some type of solace in hating.

Back before the Gruden days it was so easy. To hate.  Tim brown is the only one you didn’t like.  Chester Mckglockton, who later came to the chiefs and we still didn’t like them.  The bad blood.  The penalties.

But these are the days, when I remember(10,000 maniacs reference.) Now it even tougher.  I wanted Gannon to win, I wanted Tim brown to win, I want jerry rice to stop experimenting with twists and cornrows, he’s 40 years old and balding for Pete’s sake, but I also wanted him to win. Charlie he too deserved to win. But alas.

Don’t get me wrong I like the bucks. I love Warren Sapp for the most part.  He’s hilarious.  I’m not an ego fan a la Terrell Owens and Keyshawn Johnson, maybe a little Thurman Thomas.  But I love confidence and he can be egotistical, he is the best.  He hates all 12 teams that drafted someone else before him coming out of Miami(except Jacksonville who took Boselli, he’s the only one he’s not bitter with)  Warren is funny he makes me laugh.   He reminds me of the oasis twins Noel and Gallagher.  I can’t stand the ego whereas, “I make the world a better place due to my existence” attitude like Billy Corgan and Richard Gere sport.  It’s annoying.  No these egos are funnier.  Oasis, they become caricatures of themselves, of the rock and roll lifestyle.  It’s cartoony, and humorous.  Same is the same way.  He loves himself, knows he’s the best, says it shows it, but knows he’s not making the world a better place cause he plays football.  He’s entertaining people.  Those of you who don’t think he’s much of a cartoon.  Watching a 6’2 300 pound man skipping in tight spandex with his stomach hanging over on a football field is definitely cartoon material.  I like cartoons.  Bugs Bunny dunked in space jam, Warren Sapp can dunk.  See the connection.

It’s tough not to root for brad Johnson.  Even though he single handedly affected my season in fantasy football with the Vikings I think inside, somewhere I wanted him to win it.  He’s a great story love his story, Danny Kanell and Weldon.  Where are they at?  Watching the super bowl at home.  Coach Bowden is a great coach, a players coach, the kids love him.  But you always have to think about Johnson and Bowden’s relationship.  I guarantee it’s always in the back of Brad Johnson’s mind.  He’s got a ring now.  So do I, it’s around my pizza hut pizza.

OK. Real quick.  Now there’s nothing watching your friend succeed in life.  In the back of ones mind you feel that you might have had something to do with it, and if not you were there to experience it with that person.  We had a pool at the establishment, we had to pick the last digits of the score of the game.  Example: If the score was 48-21, the winner with 8 for TB and 1 for Oakland won the money.  It went up incrementally each quarter. $25 after the 1^st quarter, $50 at halftime, $75, and the rest of the $, around 150-200 I think, at the end.  My buddy Marlon had 1-1 he was the only 1 with that number combo.  For the last 4 minutes of the game it was amazing.  He was going to win $200, he was excited, I was excited, and all the guys were excited.

“Ya’ll are gonna get lap dances boi!” Marlon would spout

“Sorry Marlon I don’t want a lap dance from you” I spouted, just to piss him off and throw him off his chant of man-ness”

“We’re going to the strip clubs! We’re going to the strip clubs!” he would emphatically shout as the raiders were trying to salvage some type of respect in terms of the score, but Tampa wouldn’t let them.  #1 defense baby.  They wouldn’t dare try for a field goal.  And if and when Tampa gets the ball, they’ll just run it.  $200, sounds nice.  Sounds extra nice when he’s going to take all that money and use it on his 4 buddies.  I’m not much of a strip club fan, and no I’m not gay, I just hate getting all worked for nothing only to bring back thoughts of what never would have been, till my imagination gets a hold of me and…ok never mind.  Anyhow.  Basically we were going to be the manliest of men.  Beer, pizza, football and breasts all experienced in a time of 1 hour.  Man show could have done a special on us.  Then it happened.

Not really sure how it went.  Off slant, or miscommunication.  Gannon launched his 5 soon to be interception in the air, it wasn’t accurate, it wasn’t pretty, and it was amazing to watch…Marlon seemingly lose $200 in potential Champaign room boogie credit as the nickel back smith charted down the field.  I was in awe.  I wanted to celebrate but I was too busy holding in the biggest laugh that was transpiring in my gullet in my entire life.  Back and forth my head went.  Marlon to the screen then back to Marlon, back and forth.  My mouth was wide open, so was his.  Mine in awe, his in defeat. 

Final score: 48-21

Quite possibly one of the top ten funniest moments I saw in person.  Scratch that.  Top five.  The group erupted in laughter as we all pointed hysterically at him as he sunk lower and lower into his chair.  I offered him a lap dance at that moment, and again he didn’t laugh.  We all went home afterwards.  I passed by the strip club.  I laughed. Again.