So your broke. Big deal.  So am I.  I was in New Rochelle last weekend and got approached  by a young student.

“Steve we have an opening in the car.  Do you want to go to spring break with us?”

99.9% of the time old steve would have said yes.  But due to the fact that I have no job and I’m steadily draining my account, and I have a roommate that I can’t put it on.  I turned it down.  But it got me thinking.

For some of you it’s spring break and you need not bother reading this.  But for those of you who have yet to go, or can’t cause you don’t have any $$.  I Have a couple ideas for you.

Cheap Spring break:

Find a friend:  Easiest one.  I took one to New Orleans my senior year in college.  Had a friend that went to Tulane.  Crashed there.  Besides gas I spent $100 dollars in 5 days.  That’s pretty damn cheap.

 Find a friend, or make one that goes to any of the great vacation spots or near there to have free rent.  I’m sure if you think hard anyone has a friend that lives in NYC, or LA, or Texas , or Florida .  You luck out if you have friends at UNLV(Vegas)

For drunk fun.  Get your Memphis U or Tulane friends for a visit. Theres also 14 colleges in New Orleans , I’m sure you can find someone there.  Charleston (three there)

For skiing, Montana state, Colorado college, Northern Colorado , and any other Colorado places.

Beach: Coastal Carolina ( myrtle beach ), any University in Florida . Etc.

If your friends don’t want you there. Make new friends.

-If you have a little $$$ and your team has a great basketball tradition.  Follow them during there conference tournament.  Many schools and/or alumni will offer cheap package deals to try to bring the students to the games.

If you are dead broke…

Vegas:  Yes.  It sounds insane.  But if you are dead broke as a human being.  I have yet to try it but I know a couple friends who have.  Go to Vegas.  Especially if you don’t gamble.  Drinks are free or insanely cheap.  All you have to basically pay for is gas.  How do you go about that you ask?

Don’t check into a hotel.  I’m serious.  Fly to Vegas and pick a hotel with pool lockers.  That will be your closet.  Yes.  I’m serious.   All people who ever visit Vegas stay up until 6 or 7 am .  You have no control over this people.  I’m sorry.  Even dead narcaleptics have a tough time falling asleep in Vegas.  I sleep.  I mean I can sleep like no other.  15 hours?  Hell no problem.  I can do that in my sleep (rim shot).  But in veags, with all the beautiful people, lights, noise, drinks, and all the oxygen being pumped into the buildings it’s almost down right impossible to sleep 4 hours and feel tired.  This is what you do. 

Party.

That’s it.  Just party.  People are insane there.  They’re open to whatever.  Party till the sun comes up or until you can’t stand anymore.  A good time frame is 7-10 am ..  Go back to your locker, change into your bathing suit and pass out at the pool.  Sleep there.  This will accomplish these things.

-sleep

-recovery

-getting tan

-wearing sunglasses to hide the fact that your sleeping to sleep, while recovering from last night, and coyly making it act like your out there to get tan.

Repeat for 5 days.

Now you may ask.  “how do I change clothes?” And shower?

If you are a guy.  And asked this question you need to not go on vacation.  All guys need is  shorts and a Hawaiian shirt and they’re set for the week.  They might take a pair of pants and a black shirt for nice places, but it’s the only nice outfit they have with will inevitably be stained by

-vomit, his own.

-Beer, his own or his friends, or the really drunk girl he was hitting on.

-Martini,  that he has no idea how to drink it, but ordered it anyway thinking it made him more sophisticated and then without though, took the martini glass to the dance floor…

If you’re a girl, things are a little more difficult, but not really.  Spring break is all about fun.  You will meet 8 million people in a span of 4 minutes and 25 seconds.  And most will be friendly.  Tell them your plight.  I guarantee that most will be impressed and let you use they’re bathroom facilities and iron, unless they to read this website and are asking you the same.

Beach.  Do the same thing at the beach.

Guys bring a backpack.  That’s it.  Do not over pack.  It will be pointless.  If you go to a somewhat popular spring break destination.  You will come back with 8 shirts more than you brought.  All with some sort of credit card logo or soda.  This will be enough.  

Take my advise please…and tell me how they turned out